See below for the update-2/2/12
11/4/10
Hi everyone. Here’s a great article for Highly Sensitive People and/or Empaths who are feeling a lot of emotions and/or physical symptoms that have you feeling confused, frustrated, and stuck. Highly empathic people can often feel the feelings of others as if they are your own.
I know this sounds really “out there” but it is a fact that many highly sensitive people are able to absorb negative energy from other people and feel it both emotionally and/or physically. This article explains how this is possible and has some great helpful tips on how to take care of yourself and your sensitivity to other people’s emotions. It includes a wonderful video by psychiatrist Dr Judy Orloff (Author of Guide to Intuitive Healing) that is a “must see” for all HSPs in my opinion 
.
Please check it out with an open mind and give your self lots of time to process this information if it is just too much for you to take in and believe at first. If you are indeed an empath, this information can help you begin to understand why you feel so critical of yourself and so different from other people. This ability is actually a very special gift to have and you can learn skills to help your self and even begin to help others if you so desire.
With Love, Elaine
Click here for the article=>http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Absorbing-Other-People’s-Emotions
2/2/12 NEW INFO :
HSPs and EMPATHS–YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE A SOURCE OF LIGHT AND LOVE THAT HELPS OTHERS.
Hi everyone. Inspired by comments on this page, I am adding some helpful information for empaths and a link for those interested in reading about Dark Entities (Malignant Narcissists) and what that means for those of us who are highly sensitive and/or empaths.
Sylvia Browne is the one who enlightened me on this subject of dark entities and she explained in her books that 1/3 of the population on earth are white entiities–meaning we HSPs and those of us with compassion and empathy are highly evolved souls and we are innately directly connected to God (or the Source of Love). The rest are dark or gray entities. Dark entities, with their own free will that God gave them, have turned away from God at the soul level and they are here on Earth for themselves and by themselves–darks have no spirit guides or angels helping them because they don’t want them. This may sound very esoteric to some and it is quite shocking information to digest but is quite comforting after a bit when you read that if you are a white entity you will always be a white entity and can never go dark–you are one of God’s children by choice and you have a direct link to God’s love inside your heart at all times to re-energize you from all the negativity around you.
Some helpful information for empaths:
I have come to understand that Love and our positive feelings thoughts and energies are always stronger than the negative and dark energies around us and will heal, dissolve, and repel them. So there is nothing to fear.
Some say we are here on the planet to learn lessons through the painful experiences that happen to us (there is no pain in heaven so we must come here to evolve our souls to new heights and learn the healing power of compassion and love for ourselves.) Then once you are healing emotionally then you can help heal others if you choose.
But just your being here on the planet is enough. You do not have to do anything. You are a bright light and source of love and an inspiration to others just by being. Take some time to heal and stop listening to the “shoulds” from insensitive people who are steeped in negativity and fear. Fear is the opposite of love. Learn to love your true self and find inner peace. Don’t try to help others until you have fully healed and have extra to give while balancing all the needs in your own life. Stop being a people-pleaser and don’t compare yourself to others. Surround yourself with people who love you easily. If there aren’t any, you must start with loving yourself and knowing you are loved by God. That is all you need to start healing. When you start changing your inner beliefs of your worthiness you will start attracting more and more people who see you clearly because you see you clearly. But if your life is full of people who drain your energy and your time, then there is no space available so the universe can send you some new healthy relationships who will appreciate you and reciprocate your love. First, take some time for yourself, be still, and heal your inner wounds.
“Relax and enjoy your life and everything will be all right.”
I received those words loud and clear as a very vivid and real message in a semi-dream state when I was waking up one morning–I experienced this years ago and it awakened me and changed my life and caused me to slow down and tune into my intuition so that I could hear more loving guidance. This message was exactly what I needed to hear at the time and all I knew was that it was not from me and it immediately comforted me–I had this deep feeling of ”wow–someone up there cares about me”. Sylvia Browne says that we each have our own spirit guide. (Others refer to them as guardian angels.) They are there to help you at all times giving you insights and access to your creativity and your intuition from your higher self–this is what I refer to as your inner guidance (those aha moments).
Some helpful visualization techniques for empaths:
The Mirror Visualization–When you are feeling bad (a lot of negative feelings and negative energy from your own emotional wounds and from others) it may help you to visualize God’s love, light, and bliss coming down on you from heaven (there is no negativity in heaven) and imagining a protective barrier like a cylinder around you with one continuous mirror shining outwards surrounding you. The mirror reflects the negativity back to itself thus deflecting it away from you (negative energy is looking for positive energy to “feed on” and exchange with)–this is a very helpful visualization that really works to protect you and for when you need recharging. Imagine the top of the cylinder is open and the beam of light that comes down fills up this cylinder with you inside and you are completely safe. You can imagine it as large as you like so that you feel comfortable.
Decharging Negative Energy–When you are feeling other people’s negative feelings you can release them by saying to yourself, “these are not my feelings, I am going to let them go” and visualize these negative feelings as negative energy going away from you. It takes time and healing to know what are your feelings coming up from childhood wounds at your core and what belongs to others.
Working through and healing your childhood wounds is what I assist with as a life coach as well as teaching journaling techniques, visualizations, and positive affirmations for any of you who are interested. You can recharge yourself by feeling God’s love for you from within your own heart and also from the earth which is highly recharging as well as water, air, and fire (the 4 elements). So you can decharge and recharge from baths, candles, walks in nature etc. As I wrote about in a past post, imagining yourself grounded in the earth and receiving positive healing energy from the planet and nature can help so much.
I am planning to include many more helpful tips on this subject in my upcoming book. For now, read my page of Recommended Books for all the books that have helped me get to where I am today. I highly recommend Sanaya Roman’s books if you know you are an empath but the inner child healing books are necessary as well for adult surviviors of narcissistic parents. John Gray’s book that I listed is where I learned the most about decharging and recharging for HSPs–it is great!
Here is the link for the excerpt about Dark Entities from Sylvia Browne’s book–it is a must read for anyone who has a Narcissist in their life!! I would copy it here directly but for copyright reasons I need her permission to do so and I am going to look into doing just that. Until then, here is the link to the excerpt on someone else’s blog. Be sure to come back here to make your comments so we can have a support FORUM on this subject here on this page–I’d love to hear from you .
http://activesideinfinity.blogspot.com/2007/10/dark-entities.html
With light and love,
Elaine
Hi
I’ve just come stumbling over your site, after reading about empath and hsp. Only one sentence and i am already struggling against myself in writing this, it probably sounds weird but its as if my body/mind or whatever just locks itself up when i try to open myself. So I’ll make this short. I loved the poem you wrote, “Poem of Hope and Healing for the Highly Sensitive Survivor” brought me to tears. I just wonder, i believe i am hsp. But Empath I’m not so sure, feels as if i i am only making excuses for myself if i believe that. But a few months ago i had a weird experience, my brother came up to me crying talking about his girlfriend and how she seemed suicidal on the phone, and wanted me to drive him over the her. Now i had somewhat normal day, but when he came up to me like that, i started crying too. Then i sort of stopped it somehow, “sucked in in” then when i let go, i started to cry again. And then i sort of sucked it up again. As if i could decide to open myself to his feelings or close myself. Something similar happened later, when i decided to take walk to a little mountain top we have. I had prepared music and ready to go. Feeling great and watching at the stars as walked, then suddenly two neighbors walked past me. After a short greeting i continued, but my mood went downhill. After walking for about 2min i ended up sitting down and felt an unexplainable sadness. I tried going to the top, but i could not get back to the feeling i had when i started walking. I’ll stop here, seems i opened up a bit. Hope it’s okay that i just randomly show up, asking for attention sort of.. Wish you all the best:)
Hi Thomas, Thank you for your comment. It is okay and a good question. I answer all comments because I feel that for each person asking there are many others out there also wanting to know the same thing. So I answer briefly when I can… more complex inquiries I refer to my Coaching or Ask Elaine Services. From what you describe, saying “struggling against yourself writing this” it sounds like a deep “hidden” fear from childhood of expressing your true voice but you are learning to over-ride this “inner critic” in your head and expressing yourself anyway. Wonderful! Thank you for your kind words about my poem, I appreciate it very much.
From what you describe, it sounds like you are an empath and you are picking up others feelings as if they are your own feelings. It is confusing to be feeling so many feelings until we hear about being “empathic” and then it is a relief to finally realize, “Oh it’s not my feelings, that makes sense”. It sounds like you are, rather than “sucking it in”, more likely you are letting it go and NOT internalizing it at those times OR you are dissociating and just going numb at those times. (We learn to dissociate or “not feel” as a means of survival as children when we were in trauma). I am not sure, I would need to get to know you better. Either way you can learn to understand your empathic abilities–and, although you can not healthily turn off this “radar” that is a gift, you can learn to acknowledge it as someone else’s and then say to yourself, “these are not my feelings, I am going to let them go” (with this you visualize this negative energy leaving you). This takes time, self-knowledge, and patience with yourself to become skilled. Yes, you picked up the repressed sadness of the two neighbors (repressed meaning they may not even be conscious that they felt this way inside). It is my pleasure to meet a fellow empath, Thomas.
Welcome to our community! Warmest wishes to you, Elaine
Hi glad to have found this site….I am HSP and probably an empath. I am seeking to heal from agoraphobia, which I feel is linked to my sensitivity and other things from absorbing from a dysfunctional family. I need to get my life back, and am getting so tired of trying to find a long term solution. It takes a long time to insight!! Anyone else had agoraphobia and got over it?
hello.I was always highly empathic. I dont have problem with empathy, but other people dont do the same thing. Empathy is support, and when I express my support with that way,its ok with others, but when I ask for empathy they leave me alone.
So how must our friendships,relations must be? Frivolous in order not to get hurt?because if you have no empathy , nobody can hurt you!
And you know when you reach fourties, you see that people dont show empathy every one cares only for himself!
Sad to say , that I agree, most people I have met, not all, are very much into themselves, and sometimes they cannot even listen to you, its so obvious and sad really, empaths, would find it hard to be selfish, the impulse is strong to try and help. I realise sometimes though this impulse can be coming from a not always healthy reason, such as a tendency to be co dependent, I read an excellent article about this issue, and saw that I needed to work yet some more on myself, gosh does this self work never end?
There are people who care for others, look at us empaths, for instance ! And when one finds a caring person or two or three …. or more …. one can share and grow …. the beauties (of life) ! Embrace that beauty …. gratitude (reminder)
Hi anyone else and empath with AGORAPHOBIA…….I am running out of options to find a way out of this dam mess…..did I actually choose to be an empath in this life? I must have been mad, all I have experienced is struggle and illness, where is the joy and happiness? No I am not a victim, I am trying to help myself, and I don’t moan and moan about my lot too anyone….but I wish there was a forum where we could give productive help to each other. This is a great site to have found, thanks very much for it.
So what are the limits of ourselves and others? I suppose we must have superficial relationships either friendships or relations and to be happy with
that.But who is happy with something superficial only sometimes and then?
Hi Sofia and everyone, As a highly sensitive and intuitive person, you are part of a group of 15 to 20% of the population that is deep, caring, and compassionate with much love to give. Our giving nature is an inspiration to others who are also part of this 15 to 20%. I have read that nearly 2/3rds of the souls on this planet are here “for themselves” and not to experience or give love to others. They are like energy vampires and some who try to put out our “lights” and diminish our belief in our gifts (narcissists). I was shocked when I first heard this number but then after awhile it sunk in and I realized it fit with my own experience with others. You do not have to be around anyone who makes you feel bad–one third of the population is over 2 BILLION PEOPLE–and empathetic compassionate people are out there. When you begin to love yourself as you are, stop comparing yourself to others, and protect your self and your energy from negative and selfish people by staying away from them, you will start attracting and finding more compassionate people like yourself in your life. Do not settle for superficial relationships–take the road less traveled
–it is the path to love and enlightenment and inner peace. With love and light, Elaine
This is great advice. I don’t blame myself now for not being able to mix with most people, I understand myself now, and I refuse to be a sponge for people’s problems, if I want to help I will, but whilst I am healing and finding a way to get over my issues, I do not want to take on other’s issues.. I also long for intelligent conversation, the masses are very dumbed down:(
Yay! Jane, I am so glad this was helpful! Did you mean the comment I left or the link to Judy Orloff’s info? I don’t mean to ignore your previous comments which are highly insightful–I just saw this last one from sophia when I had a few minutes to respond. A wonderful FORUM is forming on this page. I have a link about light and dark entities that I am going to add to this page soon that I think you and other empaths will find interesting and helpful. Stay tuned. With warmest healing wishes, Elaine
hi Elaine..I meant your comments were helpful, thank you. I have had low energy all my life, so this has made being an empath painful and difficult, coupled with the very low self esteem and lack of confidence, constant health problems, my life has been a big struggle, and I have not been able to be in the world with any degree of peace joy or success. I say this just to explain my situation, not to beg for sympathy.
I started to slowly see my situation in a different way, I was having therapy, and said to my therapist, we need to treat my lack of life force, well that did help up to a point, but no where near the breakthrough I am looking for.
we have discovered that I came into this life in trauma, probably even before birth, ie past life, so I have not been able to be in my body, for an empathic
type, this is pretty disastrous, and so we are going to tackle this, its also a far of being in the body, so I have been ungrounded..
Life has been hard and not pleasant..there have been good times, but really not so many.
I hope to heal, and become a healthy and strong empath, and one that can then make a difference, but, we do not have to feel guilty when we don’t want to hear problems, and that is fine, there is no rule book that says we are rrsponsible for other people’s suffering, however, that is all very well to say that, we have to know it and feel it:))
I long to mend my slow puncture, that does not allow me to ever know what a strong and energetic body feels like, it is worth more than a million pounds anyday:) LOW ENERGY = NO LIFE
I have a bit of a ” its also a far of being in the body, so I have been ungrounded.. ” thing, too. So would be interested in what your therapist comes up with …. Greetings ! x x
Wow, wow, wow. After 34 years on this planet, I’ve crucified myself for being weirdly over sensitive, not like everyone else and so often unable to explain or justify my emotions and the sensations that occur in my body. I don’t ‘gel’ with most people, I just don’t understand them and find them one dimensional. I do not think I am superior in anyway, but it’s like being on a different astral plane. Your site is a wonderful tool for understanding, and sharing and learning with other HSP’s.
Carmen, Thanks so much for letting me know that this information was so helpful to you. I like your description of a different astral plane. Sounds like you get it! Have you taken an empath test online?– http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/new/Pangelic/what-kind-of-empath-are-you/
With warmest wishes, Elaine
Seems like you might be an empath. Check out the clairsentientbody website on my links list also. So happy for you that you are understanding yourself and your gifts now after all these years. Yay for you!!
I empathise with your reply and agree with it, Its lonely being different and also that includes having a mind that is lateral thinking and into many wide array of interests, most people are so dead from the neck upwards, you may chide me for my judgement, but when you have lived so long in the frustrating desert of not meeting someone vibrationally compatible, life gets really tedious and to top it one may have health issues which have been unrelenting:( love and light don’t cut it with me……..
Loneliness is a symptom of the traumatic separation from your true self in early childhood. When you came to the planet you were not lonely–you had love in your heart and someone destroyed your love for yourself and for being alone. (There are many people who are alone but not a bit lonely.) You are looking for someone else to fill this void and are angry but your anger is displaced. Where is your anger at your parents or whoever abused you so much as a tiny child that they made you feel you need to find someone else to make you feel whole? When you have compassion for yourself and the trauma you went through as a child, (and can see that the brilliant left brain visionary thinking you came here with was a gift to share and to be grateful for,) you will start attracting other higher intelligent yet sensitive friends because you have something to give from the heart. Your health issues will fade as you heal the emotions from childhood. I used to have severe health problems so I really do get it. See my blog post about stress-related illness. Also, your “feelings” are meant to be your guide for finding fulfillment in life. Often gifted left-brained thinkers shut off the right brain because the feelings are painful so they seem to be of no use. Journaling through the pain often helps people find their joy and trust in life again. This is my blog’s whole philosophy in a nutshell.
thank you elaine, I am in fact working hard on healing, I hope I can find my way back to self love ……i am working on it. I am learning more about my start in life, from a wider past life perspective ..on top of that one has ones family unit in this life, and love was not installed, not the love that matters, I was not unloved, but I think I did not feel the love that I needed to feel. I guess that is why I would want to keep others at bay. However..I can and have loved, my dear friend who passed last year, I loved him a great deal, he felt safe.
Elaine, thank you so very much for your wonderful blog. I am an HSP, empath and intuitively gifted. I am also a survivor of a narcissitic mother. Like Sylvia, I had also seen people in the same terms. I had seen my mother as a dark entity since my teen years and I am now 58, I never told anyone that I saw her as a dark entity. What has made it even more difficult is that my mother is also an empath (not all empaths are empathetic) and gifted. It gave her a double advantage, and she is what I define as an energy vampire. She really fed off the negative emotions and pain that she inflicted on everyone. I suspect that is true of most narcissists.
I really have held on tightly to this passage “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” In the dark, good and evil look alike; in the light they can be clearly distinguished. So it’s imperative to let your light shine.
Thank you for validating this for me.
Jan, Thank you so much for your comment. This is important information that you reveal about not all empaths being “empathetic” (correction 3/23/12). We must all be cautious about the rare highly sensitive person or empath who is actually an energy vampire. I actually came across one myself recently and thankfully I listened to the red flags in her behavior–extreme neediness and no compassion unless you do what she wants you to do–guilt-inducing to an extreme! I also heard of an inner child healing therapist who abused his clients sexually–just horrible!!!
Your passage is so helpful and true–light is always stronger than darkness. They may try to put out our lights, but if we shine brighter instead, then the darkness is repelled. (But while we are healing, and not feeling strong yet, it is better to avoid being around all darkness (negativity)–and seek out others with light (positivity).) If anyone makes you feel “not good enough as you are”, it is their negativity you are picking up–avoid them!
Wow, amazing that you were able to see your mother as a dark entity and an empath. You figured it out! You must innately be a highly evolved soul and meant to share your knowledge to help others stay on the path of truth! Thank YOU for validating this for ME.
Warmest wishes, Elaine
“also an empath (not all empaths are empathetic)” How can an empath not be empathic ? I think there must be anothe word for that.