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ASK THE COACH

–ASK THE COACH  Services are NOT AVAILABLE at the present time.  

Hi everyone.  If you have a question you would like to ask that requires some emotional support and intuitive guidance from me you have come to the right place.  It is $30 for each 100 words in your email to me.  I will respond with a 300+ word email response per each 100 words. At the present time there is a limit of 100 words per week per person.  This causes you to choose your words carefully.  It is important that you stick to 100 words because I use a unique healing approach with this email coaching in which I respond to each and every point you make in your email with empathy and compassion along with intuitive guidance.  I have recently been certified in Reiki level I and level II (distance energy healing) as well.  For all Ask The Coach Services I ask that you please send me a feedback email letting me know if and how my reply was helpful to you. This feedback will help me to grow in my empathic intuitive abilities as you tell me my accuracies and what was helpful as I continue to learn from you my clients.  🙂  Thank you.

Follow these easy steps:

1. Email me a question and describe yourself and your situation at hopesinger11@gmail.com under the subject ASK THE COACH.  Please make the entire email 100 words or less.

2. Click on the Pay Now button, which is at the bottom of the right sidebar on this page, and make your payment of $30.00.

3. I will Email you back answering your request with a response that is 300+ words long per each 100 words in your email to me.  Please allow 48 hours for my reply Mon. through Fri.  Then please send me a feedback email letting me know if and how my reply was helpful to you that I may use on my testimonials page.  Thank you.  🙂  I look forward to hearing from you! Sending you warmest, caring wishes.

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For Contact information, more Coaching information (including Telephone and Skype Coaching), information about my Coaching Philosophy, or Articles for highly sensitive survivors written by me and more, please click here=> My Website.

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10 responses

  1. Thank you so much for your awesome website. The information is right on for me…

    Dana

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    1. Dana, Thank you so much for your comment. I apologize for my lateness in replying to you. I thought I did reply and I just noticed my error. It was very thoughtful of you to let me know how you feel about my website. Your comment is right on for me.:). Thanks again. Warm wishes to you, Elaine

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  2. I completely Identify with you. Both of my parents
    are narcissistic HSP’s. Anyway, I obey the 5th commandment
    by becoming a better person, and a better citizen, then they.

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    1. Hi L. Thank you for your comment. It must be so difficult having two narcissistic parents. Did you mean they are HSPs (Highly Sensitive People) or you are? If they are HSPs please tell me more what that is like for you–I don’t know any HSPs who are narcissistic. I really like your idea to “honor thy parents” by becoming a better person! That is brilliant! So you honor them by honoring your self and your true purpose on the planet and becoming who you were truly meant to be! I never thought of it that way before! Thank you for your input about this important topic. Warmest wishes, Elaine

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  3. Happy Birthday!!!

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    1. Carla, Thank you for the birthday greetings! I had the best birthday ever. Welcome! Warmest wishes to you, Elaine

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  4. I left my narcisstic mother, my mentally disturbed sister, and emotionally unstable brother behind. . Hiding in my room to get away from all the drama was what I did. I had no communication skills growing up because I never talked to either parent. It was a relief when my dad died when I was 17, I wouldn’t get hit with a belt just because mom cried over something stupid. I didn’t know what was going on at the time, only that my dad defended my sick mom when she decided to throw an emotinal tantrum, which was just about every day. I feel completely alone in this world, as I seem to attract narcisstic men in my life, and get rid of them once I realize it. I feel very sad and alone. I seem to draw needy desperate ppl in my life so I mostly stay alone. Most ppl don’t realize I’m like this as I”m highly friendly at my job and I’m seeking a career in nursing. No nurturing, no support from these types of mothers, they criticize you, make you feel worthless and they have to have the spotlight 24-7. It took me many years to finally realize what happened to me, I doubt my siblings ever will. I have learned to reject needy, desperate ppl. I’m very proud of that lesson I have learned.

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  5. Tracy,

    Thank you for sharing this–your comment will be a great support to many who feel trapped in shame and guilt because they are stuck in the distorted worlds and unhealthy energies of their toxic families of origin. What you say here sounds like the truth and a healthy choice you have made to move on and be your true self. I feel you are an advanced soul which is highly evolved and that you chose a difficult beginning to your life so that you could learn the importance of compassion and love and make a difference in the lives of others. You are making a difference now as a nurse caring for others! Congratulations for finding this path with such abuse and no support or encouragement from your family–you listened to your own inner guidance which is your connection to a Universe (God) that loves and supports you.

    I understand that you feel sad and alone but try not to compare yourself to others who judge those of us who feel comfortable and loved most when we are alone (introverts and HSPs look inward for support and answers). When you begin to love yourself exactly as you are and become grateful that you are free to be alone then you will start attracting other highly independent, confident, and compassionate souls who are in touch with their true nature and gifts as you are becoming.

    Loneliness is the symptom of the separation from the true self that occurred as a trauma in early childhood. When you can resolve (as you have) that the problem is not you at all and can have compassion for your early wounds and protect yourself from narcissists as you are doing, then you will grow more and more happy with your life as it is. You are an amazing, gifted, and strong woman to persevere with all you have had to overcome. Loving yourself unconditionally is the answer to your sadness and aloneness as well as being open to the fact that you are loved and supported by something Higher that is watching out for you and giving you loving guidance. Yes, staying away from needy, desperate people who only “take” is SO WISE. You can feel very proud of yourself, Tracy. I am proud of you and many reading this are proud and even envious that you have moved on without guilt and shame. You know the truth about people–trust your inner guidance that has helped you get free that it will lead you to the right people in your life as you learn the lessons you are here to learn. You might really like reading the Sanaya Roman books I have listed on my Recommended Books page. Thanks again for sharing your courageous journey!

    With comfort, love, and light,

    Elaine

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  6. Dear Elaine,

    I’m commenting to introduce myself to you and your readers. I want to say “hello!” to my newfound community of people who share a similar chidhood being HSP of a Narcissist. In this comment I mention briefly how I learned I’m an HSP (just recently), how I learned I have a mom with a personality disorder, and the progress/lack of progress I’ve made in trying to improve my quality of life since discovering these insights. Finally I share my goals for my life and what I need to get there. An attitude of acceptance is most important and having others out there who share my experiences is crucial to me feeling like I can accept myself as I am (with my limitations).

    I recently discoverd Highly Sensitive Person trait reading an issue of O Magazine. I am DELIGHTED to learn about it because it explains my “problems” (as well as many of my unusual gifts) I’ve faced throughout life.

    I also learned about personality disorders (that run in my family) early 2005. I was tipped off by my soon to be ex husband who after we separated found a book called “I hate you don’t leave me”. He read it and told me he had never felt so understood before. He is self-diagnosed NPD or BPD and we have been “no contact” since 2005. We were together 11 years total. Since then I began studying personality disorders and suspect that many of my family members are. I’m the only HSP in the family, as far as I can tell, and I’m often the one who has the most serious challenges with my family members who have personality disorders.

    I sought support for my emotional pain but have found largely temporary solutions, not having learned about my unique challenges as an HSP with NPD/BPD mom (and stepmom, and grandfather, and exhusband, . . ) until now.

    I’ve been struggling with low energy and general malaise, as you clearly understand as a HSP child of a narcissist. Thank you for creating this blog so that those of us in this situation have a community who understands and can help.

    I would like to stay connected to others who are working on healing and managing their lifestyle so that we can thrive. I so want to feel well more of the time. Each time my malaise returns I wonder if maybe I really do need medication, yet I continued to search for alternative solutions, hoping that it was something I could overcome another way. Indeed, it seems that I’ve found another peice of the puzzle. The insights described in this blog I think will help me understand myself tremendously.

    I heard that HSPs sometimes attract narcissists in Elaine Eron’s book “The Highly Sensitive Person” and I was looking for a forum to talk with others like me online. I was on my Kindle and decided to search “Narcissist and HSP” and voila, your blog appeared (the only hit, btw). I read your blog on my Kindle last night (mostly comments from other readers was all that came through) but I visited your website this morning before work to see if there was more. Oh my goodness there is! I skimmed it and felt led to reach out and say “hello” before reading more. I find conversation much more gratifying than just one way communication (i.e. reading or writing alone).

    One thing you posted in particular hit me as so “me” (and uniquely so!). You mentioned, in a summertime post, managing your energy and biking in the evenings and the beauty of a summer night. Indeed I have found myself relishing such moments and also I have often lamented my LACK of energy much more often than not to partake. Sometimes it feels like years have passed me by exhausted where I cannot enjoy the simple pleasures of life because I’m too sad, overwhelmed, and tired. Just this winter I was suffering too much on the solstice to go out and have a bonfire at night which was all I’ve really been wanting for Christmas for weeks. It seems that just to watch the birds, hear the sound of snow under my feet and be together with my loved ones makes my spirit jump for joy with happiness and content. I’m truly delighted to have found a place where others may understand!

    I’ve been suffering a lot lately and I believe what I need is to accept myself the way I am and to adjust my lifestyle (more) to acommodate my special needs. I have been making progress on this for many years now, but I clearly have further to go since I’m still suffering. I think I could benefit from eating wholesome foods, getting regular (nourishing) exercise, spending more time in nature, spending more time in my church community (I’m a UU) and finding creative expressions. Perhaps more than anything I need to declutter. I have been cutting the narcissists out of my life for several years now but I need to continue to do that.

    I want to say “hi” not only to you but also to your nearly 140 followers. Ours is not an easy journey, but we have precious spirits that have a right to enjoy our place, our peace. I look forward to being on this journey with my fellow HSPs with NPD parents, because ours is an especially challenging course where we need to be discerning, smart and firm to survive and thrive. Maybe with your help I can remember to take good care of myself and once and for all cast off the blanket of shame that snuffs out my little flame. When I’m not feeling well, and I go under into the muckity muck of confusion, pain and sadness, I just have to make my way to the surface and begin the process of living well again.

    I hope you (all) are having a good end of December. I look forward to getting to know you better.

    Peace and happiness to you.

    Warmly,
    Tea Among Roses (My avatar for “non” – as in non BPD, and HSP boards) Many call me “Tea” there.

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    1. Hello Tea, I am so sorry to be so so late replying to your lovely comment! I must have put it through intending to get back to it at a time when a flurry of comments also came through and somehow I missed it. Your comment deserves my attention–your true self and light shines through with such brightness and hope–I am sure your comment has helped many hsp survivors out there who feel the same as you but have not yet found their voice to reach out and say “HI,I want to be part of this community!” Welcome!!! It is for people like you that this blog exists–highly evolved souls feeling isolated yet knowing in some way they are blessed and have a purpose that is beginning to unfold in front of them–you know all you need is to be fully seen and validated and then you will thrive! I hope that is what this blog has done for you–reading your comment helps us all feel understood and that all will be well when we support each other as dear friends. You are a dear friend to us all Tea and I hope you are well and thriving! 😀 Please let us know how you are doing. This page may be less often seen then one of my other forum pages here on this blog. Please feel free to comment on one of my Forum pages (there is a link on the home page post) so that you may feel more part of this community and receive more frequent replies from others! Tea, you are a gift to the planet and to this blog!–thank you so much for reaching out to us and shining your light so we may feel less alone in our highly evolved uniqueness! Peace and happiness to you as well with warm caring wishes always, Elaine

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