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TESTIMONIALS

Testimonials for– Telephone, Skype, and Email Coaching:

I am a professional woman in my early 40’s and a Highly-Sensitive-Empath.  Over the years I have consulted various counselors for depression, anxiety and ptsd.  Mainstream counseling offered some improvement of those generic issues.  However, my spiritual and emotional giftedness was disregarded by them.  A few months ago I found Roxanne E. Smith’s website and called for the phone consultation.  I found her to be warm, compassionate, and perceptive.  At the time, I had already initiated a first meeting with a new mainstream therapist who was covered by my insurance.  After the first meeting, I intuited that I was a more advanced soul than the mainstream therapist.  You have to be able to “see” someone to help them, and I felt Roxanne had “seen” me on the phone.  We’ve been doing one hour coaching sessions once a week on Skype.  Besides being sensitive Roxanne is a professional, intelligent and attractive woman. She’s sweet and kind, and has a soothing voice. It’s wonderful in the comfort of home to sit and talk face to face with a warm, healthy, insightful sensitive. It’s nice to have someone guiding me to take care of myself emotionally. In my family of origin I’m always expected to take care of everyone else and neglect myself.  I’m learning to take better care of myself which is essential to fulfilling my true purpose on this earth.  Roxanne validates your specialness and offers intuitive observations. She’s an “enlightened witness”.  I feel her services are worth the out of pocket expense. Even at our healthiest, sensitives encounter situations weekly that overwhelm, confuse, hurt, or intrigue us. Roxanne is someone who could be a lifelong mentor to any sensitive person. Get in before she gets too full to take new clients!

– Beth

              ———————————————————


Roxanne, thank you so much for this.  I am so excited and happy to read these things :).  I have a feeling that many great things are going to become possible now, beginning with working with you.
Here are some more specific points that were helpful:
Sections:  By breaking the e-mail down into sections and replying to each point, that was really great and made each reply super clear and it felt like a personal conversation.
Resources:  By offering the different resources (books, personality quiz, visualizations) this was so awesome and gives a great opportunity to continue learning and growing.
Insights:  By offering your insights and the way you offered you own similarities, I felt so understood and loved that.  I feel as though we have connected very will from the start by you offering information about yourself and this is fantastic.
Thank you for this, I don’t feel like I could thank you enough 🙂
Renee
Renee Primeau–To read her blog entry that she wrote about Roxanne (formerly pen name Elaine), Click below:
reneeprimeau.wordpress.com {This link is now working correctly}

            ———————————————————-

Dear Roxanne, I’m writing to thank you for your understanding, insightful and compassionate responses to my personal experience and confusion around dealing with a Narcissistic parent.

An N parent tries to make us feel as if we are the problem and overly sensitive. Yes, I am sensitive to the verbal abuse and controlling manipulation but you helped me to connect back to my true spirit.  Your honest and richly profound articles relate to my very experience! I am grateful to have found your website and will continue to seek healing and understanding….through the process of letting go! Letting go of toxic relationship, letting go of denying myself inner happiness, letting go of the lies and illusions. You stated that this is a grieving process……I feel it! I’m am at a point in my life where I have no other choice….but to LET GO….All of my negative, self sabotaging beliefs and actions along the way, have been hinged to the narcissist’s dysfunction. Freedom within my heart and mind is the only answer, and you helped me see this.

Thanks sincerely, Evenus

             ———————————————————

Hi Roxanne,

I can’t begin to tell you how extremely helpful your words of
encouragement meant to me. I feel you are an understanding
compassionate and sensitive human being; similar to my
dearest childhood friend. I’m very fortunate to have someone
I can express my true feeling and frustrations to.

I will take your advice and begin a journal writing my private
thoughts and express how I’m feeling each and every day.
I enjoy walking and working out; I also go to a little chapel
after my exercise class to pray and meditate three times a week.
You have provided me with a sense of hope and comfort,
Thank you so much. May God Bless You, Love CS

             ———————————————————

Roxanne helped me to make peace with where I am while gently encouraging me to keep learning and growing. Her approach was compassionate and non-judgmental, and she had great insight into how I can flourish as an HSP. I particularly liked how she’s all about possibility and hope rather than limitation and victimhood.”
Thanks again, Roxanne, and I wish you health and happiness in 2013 🙂
Andrew

             ———————————————————

Dear Roxanne,

I am so glad to read your long mail, and amazed at how you could read so much between the lines from my short letter. I didn’t mean to make my earlier letter short, I wrote it in a moment of exasperation. But you have correctly identified my father as ‘another’ narcissistic personality, and you have thorougly understood my situation though I didn’t describe it in detail.

Thank you Roxanne so much for your big mail filled with warmth, and though we are far away, I feel glad in knowing that one person understands me. And just like you said, I need one person in India whom I can go for support, but right now I have none. But I have hope, and so I shall live.
love

Vava

             ———————————————————-

Hello Roxanne!
Wow. What a relief to find your site. Thank you so much for your loving, compassionate words. Your posts have moved me to tears. I am 28 years old, and, through the work of an intuitive counselor, have been able to put a name to the source of my deep rooted misery. My mother was absolutely a narcissist…. Thank you so much for your response. It helped me immensely. Thank you so so much for your caring and insighful email.

Hugs!!

Jane

             ———————————————————-

Roxanne,

I appreciate this so much. Very validating. I actually deleted a section in my email about their passive aggressive behavior (this is very disturbing to me), and for you to point that out shows how very intuitive/knowledgeable you are. I will have to reread this again and again to fully absorb it as I am doing with your informative blog posts. Saying thank you does not describe how grateful I am for your knowledge, understanding, and kindness. Words cannot describe how I feel.

Star

             ———————————————————-

Blog Comments:

Christa  2010/09/17 at 2:35 pm
September 15, 2010 More Helpful Tips For Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) With A Narcissistic Parent Part 1

Roxanne, I can’t even put into words right now what this post means to me. It was an answer, loud and clear, to my unending question of why?.
You triggered “that moment” for me. Now I see.
Thank you for parting the clouds. I am going to take the time to study your words, open my heart and finally listen to my truth and find myself again.
This is a God send.
Blessings, Christa

Alisha
69.126.77.27
2010/10/21 at 4:20 pm
September 29, 2010 Part 2–More Helpful Tips for HSPs With A Narcissistic Parent

Roxanne, thank you so much for this post. I have just come to the realization that my father is a huge overwhelming narcissist. It’s been a horrible cycle which I’m ending now. I just wanted to let you know that your words helped.
Namaste

Dawn
morsemusings.wordpress.com/
173.29.218.193
2010/02/28 at 1:25 pm
Feb. 20, 2010 Moving on from a Narcissistic Parent–A Former Obedient Child’s Fight For Freedom

I’m deeply touched and grateful that I have found your blog. I marvel at your insight and journey. I found you via Cyndi’s blog and I could not be more tickled right now that I did.

The eternal night are the words I chose to describe the childhood I arose from. I feel a deep connection reading through all that you have said in just this one post. I’m highly sensitive, I’m learning the term “empath” for the first time.

And the mention of the book, The Drama of the Gifted Child, just makes me want to race off to the bookstore this morning.

Thank you for being here in the world.

Dawn

gina
173.66.20.234
2010/02/28 at 12:01 am

I’m so glad i found your blog. thank you. You’ve given me hope that I can someday turn off that negative voice and feel good about myself.

Terri
173.69.206.124
2010/05/27 at 5:11 pm
May 27, 2010 Summer’s Great Expectations

Wow, you’ve just described my own childhood summers and put a lot into perspective for me.

I matter
70.112.12.68 2010/06/27 at 3:59 pm

Thank you for this sentence: “It is wrong to take care of them at the expense of myself.”…
I matter.
And, I have every right to my feelings and to stand up for myself.
Thank you God for walking with me and believing in me.

Katmom
24.46.182.159
2010/07/16 at 2:46 pm
Feb. 20, 2010 Moving on from a Narcissistic Parent–A Former Obedient Child’s Fight For Freedom

….Thanks for posting your story. It helps so much to know others are out there dealing with this same hidden horror…
alex
94.197.168.87
2010/07/12 at 10:17 pm
May 13, 2010 Voicing And Releasing Righteous Anger–A Guide For Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) With A Narcissistic Parent
Hi,

Wow what a moving and mirror piece of writing. It was like reading my inner thoughts. …

love a x

andrea
asinme@gmail.com
69.95.19.209
2010/06/30 at 6:22 pm
Help Me To Forgive (NOW WITH AUDIO

Thank you!

Jaime
itoldyouiwassick.com
24.177.224.46 2010/06/15 at 10:22 pm
June 15, 2010 The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and Allergies, Food Intolerances, and Stress-related Illness

Wow. This was like reading my life story in so many ways. I too was sick until I found out I had a gluten intolerance. I also experienced an abusive childhood because people didn’t understand that the way I was behaving was part gluten-related and part HSP-related (I’m an empath).
I’m also a singer/song-writer but haven’t done it in a while. http://www.etherealvox.com (I think you’ll like ‘Baby Blue’).

This is a great blog. I hope you’ll keep in touch.

Love & light,

Jaime

http://www.itoldyouiwassick.com

dmtorbi
acoarecovery.wordpress.com
96.224.10.156
2010/08/20 at 4:05 pm
Mar. 1, 2010 From the Heart of an Obedient Child: The Painful Legacy Left Behind

WOW. Amazing writing! All the pain & all the healing are there. Love the last line, too. I just posted one I wrote before I had any hope of healing, & it reminds me of the first part of yours. Always glad to hear others’ recovery & self-esteem!
http://acoarecovery.wordpress.com/alone

OAD
oneangrydaughter.com
68.32.220.16
2010/07/22 at 1:36 pm
July 21, 2010 Perfectionism, The Highly Sensitive Person, and How Grieving Our Childhood Pain Is Essential To Healing

… I love your blog. I always feel uplifted after reading your insight. {{{HUGS}}}

http://www.oneangrydaughter.com
Jim Hallowes
HighlySensitivePeople.com

76.168.92.183
2010/07/23 at 5:28 am
Hi Roxanne,

I very much enjoyed and very much appreciate your website and all the good work you do! I want to introduce myself, I’m Jim Hallowes and I invite you to my website http://www.HighlySensitivePeople.com and also suggest and give you my permission to add my website as a link on yours and in return I’ll be more than happy to create a link to yours, if you’d like that. I look forward to hearing from you.

All the best, Jim

Jim Hallowes
Founder, Highly Sensitive People®

Cyndi
somuchmorethanamom.com/narcissists/
71.201.245.237
2010/02/01 at 6:12 pm

Roxanne I can’t thank you enough for your kind words. I am floored that you had such a reaction to my post about my N mother. I appreciate it more than you will ever know along with all the other people who identified with it. It helps ME to know I am not alone.

You are absolutely right about it being the shame that does not truly belong to me. That is what I felt when I wrote it. I’ve even written an entire post about “shoulds” (title: My #1 Most Hated Word In The English Language)….

trish
122.149.85.243
2010/07/22 at 1:41 am
Jan. 21, 2010 Childhood Pain Comes Up to Heal When Things Are Going Well

i feel like u were talking about me i am going through counselling and am coming against strong feelings as truths come to light .thankyou for helping me to be strong and not feel like its just me sending love trish

upsi
upsi-upsi.blogspot.com/
71.201.198.94
2010/07/18 at 6:05 pm
June 30, 2010 The Misjudgment of Introverts and the True Meaning of Introversion

Roxanne – This is a really important topic, I found that introverted traits were heavily devalued in my family – hence the development of my false self to be loved. The truth is, I recharge my batteries in solitude – and for a long time, I think I tried to deny to myself that I was introverted. I can play the extrovert – probably some of my own narcissistic traits that I developed in my family to survive – but I am working now to accept my true nature and live according to it. Thank you for sharing what you’ve learned about this topic, as always, your writing speaks right to my heart.

hugs,
upsi
Michele Rosenthal
healmyptsd.com
66.229.40.16
2010/10/18 at 3:00 am
October 12, 2010 Journaling for Joy and Finding My True Voice In A Poem

Roxanne — Thank you for being so open on your blog, both in your poetry and your posts. I, too, found great healing through writing. Poetry was how I first found the language to express what my HSP nature found difficult to contain. And then a lot of my recovery came through writing a memoir about my trauma which, as an HSP, I had a lot of trouble processing and making peace with! Words, and the shared communal experience of art, have healing powers beyond what normal medicine can often provide.

loveworthdyingfor
24.248.39.186
2010/10/20 at 9:20 am
Feb. 12, 2010 Overcoming the Guilt From Standing Up To a Narcissitic Parent

This is a really good blog for children of narcissistic parents! I wish I’d read this last year.

….It’s thanks to blogs and sites like yours that I was able to see what was happening to me and learned methods on how to deal with the problem that I thought was only mine. I think society actually reveres mothers too much, so much that they’d sacrifice their emotional well being for them because they weren’t taught how to love themselves first. Lots of Love and Peace to you and all children of narcissistic families.

Cyndi
somuchmorethanamom.com
71.201.245.237
2010/03/22 at 3:04 pm
March 18, 2010 Trust in Your Desires as a Guide to your True Purpose in Life

Congratulations on this endorsement! You are doing important work here.

evenus
71.204.242.213
2010/05/02 at 8:45 pm
March 26, 2010 How My Best Counselor Helped Me to Break Through My Illusions and Self-doubt

Roxanne, This is brilliant! I love your honesty!

My experience and my feelings (invisible, non acceptance, illusions and guilt) are so similar! Wow, it’s good to know that we don’t have to feel guilty for being brave enough to stand up to the lies and abuse! And to allow ourselves the gifts of self acceptance and love…And to trust where to draw the line.

We are worthy to seek and attract people, places and experiences that serve to promote individual uniqueness, respect, understanding, and the basic need to express and share love…..by the balance of giving and receiving, from the heart’s deepest desires.

A narcissist does not honor the true meaning of “Relationship”…to relate in the giving and receiving of love, relate in our shared humanity, and relate in our individual and shared experiences. And in honoring personal boundaries.

A narcissist parent does not allow their children to have healthy boundaries…They violate all boundaries and shame you for having them, then beat you up emotionally for not having them. It is a double edged sword!

Anyone, with any dignity would walk away from the crimes of emotional and mental abuse, right?. Family on the other hand isdeeply rooted and complicated….(the illusions)…..but it is necessary for the abused HSP, to put an end to the insanity, by breaking away, for self preservation and the ability to expand, evolve and flourish… as we have the right to do, and were created to do. It is a risk worth taking.

I agree with you, that we have to be cheerleaders for ourselves and seek environments that promote individual uniqueness, and the openess we desire. I now realize that Healthy, loving personal boundaries are so important in this healing process. I realize that I don’t have to try and fix, rescue or constantly appeal to others needs…..I can say NO! I can be selfish enough to take care of me! AND NOT FEEL GUILTY !!!!!! YEE HA!
Cyndi
somuchmorethanamom.com
somuchmorethanamom.com/2008/11/22/flying-solo-par…
71.201.245.237
2010/05/01 at 2:56 am
April 30, 2010 Mother’s Day Survival Guide–How To Cope If You Have a Narcissistic Mother

Roxanne, when I saw the title of this post I went and got myself a cup of coffee, got settled in and prepared to read words with which I could completely identify.

You did not disappoint. …. I will be reading this book, thanks for recommending it. …

Great post.

upsi
upsi-upsi.blogspot.com
38.106.227.213
2010/05/03 at 2:02 pm
April 30, 2010 Mother’s Day Survival Guide–How To Cope If You Have a Narcissistic Mother

Roxanne,

Thank you so much for giving me words to contemplate this week, the excerpts you include here really give me strength for this week. This is the first Mother’s Day that I’m “on-the-outs” with NM, and I have the pit of dread and guilt that I don’t want to honor her. Thank you for sharing your insights.

xo
upsi
evenus
71.204.242.213
2010/04/30 at 6:38 pm
Feb. 20, 2010 Moving on from a Narcissistic Parent–A Former Obedient Child’s Fight For Freedom

Roxanne, I want to thank you for responding to my recent email…about my N father and the insanity he continues to dump on our family….I am grateful to connect with someone like you, who knows the experience and can relate to mine.

I have dealt with trying to please by bending in his direction, but also standing up for truth…battling the denial with my siblings, who are playing the roles of either survivalist, or repressed indentured servants, or submissive denial. My only hope is that we will be loving and supportive in the end regardless of what my father does or does not do. understaning the reality and dealing with it in a healthy way is my desire.

I have battled with unworthiness and self doubt all my life. And going from hope, confidence and focus on what matters to feeling like I’m being thrown into a pit with no way out…..This creates a strong determination and a desire to abort life “as is” and seek a whole new existance……but feeling alone too. Being true to my authenic and loving self with strong,healthy boundaries is the only answer and solution to breaking the chains that bind my yearning heart..

thanks for your understanding and loving words

kathleenhogg.com
kathleenhogg
2010/07/08 at 5:09 pm
Feb. 12, 2010 Overcoming the Guilt From Standing Up To a Narcissitic Parent
This is a very interesting BLOG. It showed up on mine as a link. chronicpainjournal.wordpress.com. …
Thank you for your BLOG and now that I am a Chronic Pain Patient, I have written some things about marriage and such. It is crucial to survive them……and remember it is their loss really.

empathicperspectives
97.81.53.243
2010/08/03 at 8:47 pm

I have posted a link to your website in my Empathic Website List on http://empathicperspectives.blogspot.com

You have a lovely website. ^_^

Namaste
Misu

upsi
upsi-upsi.blogspot.com/
7196.24.22.104
2010/04/03 at 1:56 am

“I had never heard of the term Highly Sensitive Person until I read Roxanne’s blog, and it’s fascinating not only how much it resonates with my experience, but how many other children of narcissists feel the exact same way! When we read about each others’ sensitivity, we find tremendous commonality – I see it in the comments on their posts, others saying “this describes me so perfectly, I feel like I could have written this” It’s a helluva lot better to share experiences than be told we’re too sensitive!

It blows me away. I’ve lived ashamed and confused about the sensations I experience, how deeply things effect me and how I react to daily life. It is wonderful to find words to describe my level of sensitivity that don’t automatically make sensitive into a bad thing, a weakness.

So thank you to the brave DONMs for sharing this valuable line of thinking.

We’re here, we’re sensitive, get used to it!”

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